Do you find it difficult to reach out to others for anything? Maybe you’re too proud or anxious to reach out when you really need help. It could be that you don’t know exactly how to reach out. Whatever the case may be, we’ll show you how to ask for help and receive it with no issues!
There’s an art to everything, including asking someone for help, but most of that “art” takes place in your presentation. The vast majority of people are willing to help if you keep it simple, show that you really need help and treat them with respect. But it’s really a bit more nuanced than that; find out why in this post.
Everyone Needs Help. Here’s How to Get It.
Keep it Short and Simple
You’re an adult. You’ve accomplished a lot and earned your keep. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of yourself or qualifying your achievements to others. But all of that ego gets in the way when you’re trying to ask for help.
In reality, you don’t need to prove you’re the perfect person or tout all of your virtues to prove your worth. The person you’re requesting aid from doesn’t need to know how incredible the rest of your work is. They don’t need to hear your success stories or how important this project is to you. All they need to know is what problem you need help with – everything else is superfluous and probably deterring the other party.
Here’s an example: saying “I’m giving my third speech for a local charity tomorrow. They’ve all been amazing so far, and I want this one to be even better.” doesn’t help anyone. How can they help? Unless you clarify, they’ll never know.
Instead, try “I want my charity speech tomorrow to be great, but I need help with editing my speech to make it more concise.”
See the difference?
Maybe you need to rent a suit instead, or maybe you just need someone to listen while you practice. Either way, drill down to what matters. If you truly want someone’s help be humble, focus on the problem and cut out the fluff.
Offer a Trade
Most people won’t turn down a person in need, especially face-to-face. That doesn’t mean they’re a walking charity drive, either.
How would you feel if someone asked you for something every time you went out? Keep that in mind when you ask, but do NOT let it hold you back.
Remember that everyone’s time is valuable, and you get more flies with honey than vinegar. Offer something in return to ensure that both parties benefit.
Maybe they need help with something on the spot. If not, then offer to return the favor at a later time when they need support. Other people are more likely to help out when they know they’re not being taken advantage of.
Show That You’ve Exhausted Other Options
Some people just don’t want to help themselves, and indulging them further doesn’t do anything to help them in the long-term. If they can’t be bothered to try on their own, how is someone else going to make it better?
Ultimately, it’s best if you ensure that you’ve tried to help yourself before reaching out for assistance. But there is admittedly some nuance here. Someone who is trying to find a job, for example, should obviously try sending out resumes first…but if they don’t know how to write a resume, they’ll need to ask for help in advance.
To simplify, remember that effort counts. People want to know you’re trying, not just leaving someone else to clean up your messes and problems. Show the efforts you’ve made and tell them how you plan to improve in the future – or maybe where you’re going and why the help is so beneficial.
Many problems can be resolved with a simple Google search. Demonstrate that you’ve tried the common sense and straightforward solutions. Giving the other party context helps them help you.
Timing is Essential
Have you ever asked someone for help and they ever got back to you? It’s a terrible feeling, and it’s even worse to speculate on what might have happened. Did you say something wrong or do they not care? In all honesty, they probably got swept up with something else and forgot.
Our lives are complicated, and there’s not enough time in the day to do everything. Think of where they’ll be or maybe how they’re feeling before asking for help. They’ll probably forget your message while at work, and asking when they’re upset isn’t helping your case. Put yourself in their shoes before reaching out.
Reaching out for aid isn’t as hard or scary as you might think. We ALL need a hand sometimes, and there’s zero shame in admitting your need for support. How successful you are really comes down to presentation and a little common sense.
~Here’s to Your Success!