Isn’t it terrible to watch someone you love struggle? Whether they hate their job or are stuck in a toxic relationship, the bad areas of their lives can drag the good stuff down too. You may think all you can do is be supportive, but we are here to let you know how to help someone in a deep rut!
When we see someone suffering, our first instinct is to try to help. This could lead to sticking your nose where it isn’t wanted. There are ways to help without being intrusive. Take a look at ways you can help your friends and family get out of their rut and maintain your relationship with them below.
Help Your Loved Ones Find Happiness Today!
What Are Ruts?
The term “in a rut” seems pretty broad. People can be unmotivated, depressed, bored, unchallenged and just plain sad due to being in a rut. For many, this term signifies being unhappy with a situation and seemingly unable to do anything about it.
We’ve all heard that thinking positive is a great way to find satisfaction with our lives. But most of the time, all the positive thinking in the world isn’t going to help unless you address the problem. When you notice someone who seems to be in a rut, what can you actually do to help them get through it without preaching at them or getting too involved?
Ask How You Can Help
Instead of taking over your loved one’s life, being unobtrusive is the key to helping them. It’s easy to say “I’m here if you need me,” but most of the time, if you don’t make the point clear, you will never hear them ask for help.
Instead, try telling them you’ve noticed they seem to be down, and ask what you can do to help. Sometimes people in a rut may not be able to pinpoint their problem. They may tell you they just feel overwhelmed or unmotivated. This is an opening for you to discuss the situation with them and find out what the underlying problem may be.
While it may be tempting to lay out a full plan for them to follow to get their life straight, you may offend or push your friend away if you are too heavy handed. Rather than saying, “This is what you need to do,” try to offer a variety of solutions.
For example, if they are having relationship problems you may want to say to break up and start over. Instead, mention couples counseling, personal self-esteem boosters and communication tips. This gives them hope that the problem can be solved. If, in the end the relationship still doesn’t last, you won’t be to blame.
Use Personal Examples
Let your friend or family member know they’re not alone. Everyone goes through ruts and tough times. Tell about something you’ve been through and how you managed to get out of it. Reassure them that their problem may not go away overnight, but with a dedicated plan to deal with the situation, they’ll begin to feel better before they know it.
If the person you’re concerned about seems stuck in a loop of doing nothing but working and going home, invite them to go somewhere or get involved in something that will shake up their routine. Suggest joining a gym together, or having a weekly vent session over dinner and drinks.
If finances are the main reason this person is stuck in their rut, why not have a joint yard sale? This will break their boring routine, get them in touch with neighbors and help them make a little money.
When a person who’s stuck in a rut begins to open up, be there for them. Once you’ve reached out, they’ll see you as a lifeline, so help them work through this struggle and don’t make them feel as if they are a nuisance. If you don’t hear from them for a few days, shoot them an encouraging text or call to see if they want to get together for lunch.
Besides these easy ways to show your support and friendship, make sure you mention professional counseling if the person just can’t seem to break out of their rut. Depression and loneliness can lead to all sorts of issues, and while you care, you are probably not a professional. Do what’s best for your loved one!