Do you apologize constantly or find it impossible to say no? Do you feel burdened and overwhelmed trying to keep everyone happy? If so, you might be a people pleaser. Being a people pleaser is great for everyone else — everyone wants someone in their corner who would do ANYTHING to keep them happy. But it’s not that great for you. What’s more, it can have a negative impact on your overall well being. And that’s not all…
You Can’t Please Everyone All the Time
According to science, there are four main personality types: average, reserved, role-model and self-centered. Although everyone falls under one of these four main categories, people can be categorized even further based on their needs, perceptions, faith, culture, life experiences and preferences. The combinations are endless.
This means each person in your life is vastly unique, which makes it impossible to keep all of them happy. As the old adage goes: You can’t please everyone all the time. It’s impossible. Trying to do the impossible is not only futile, it’s taxing.
Exhaustive Deposits With No Return Is Toxic
People pleasers are almost always givers, and they often give until they just can’t anymore. There’s even a name for it. It’s called over-giving, and Psychology Today outlines some pretty toxic consequences of giving too much. Perhaps the most notable one is a lack of real, reliable and reciprocal relationships. Many givers find they attract people who only want to hang around as long as they’re getting something.
Pleasers Pay an Unseen Toll
If you continue to try to please everyone, even those who are not healthy for you, you may become miserable, exhausted and demoralized. The sheer energy it takes to try to please everyone, along with the stress that occurs when you realize you can’t, can be enough to bring anyone to their breaking point.
You Must Live Your Own Truth
Pleasing everyone often involves sacrificing your own preferences, morals and ideas in favor of another’s. And when you do that, you aren’t being true to yourself. Granted, being true to yourself can bring on the disfavor of others. It won’t always be comfortable — but it can also be incredibly freeing. Imagine falling asleep one night without the burden of pleasing others on your mind. What a restful, worry-free night that will be.
Don’t allow others to suck the happiness out of your life. Take steps today to start putting yourself first. Help others when you can, but don’t give too much of yourself. No one else’s happiness should ever come at your expense. You deserve to be happy, too.
